ELT World » Teaching

Why the CELTA is the wrong course for many who take it

david — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 08:04:52 +0000

The ever wonderful Martin McMorrow has just shared the following statistics concerning the demographic profile of Celta candidates on the ELT World forum:

26% of candidates were over 40, 10% of these were over 50 and 2.5% over 60
68% of candidates had English as their first language and this means for 32% English is not their first language
20% were qualified to teach English in their own country, 43% had previous experience of teaching English; 20% had more than two years’ experience
42% planned to teach EAP after the course
38% planned to teach Business English after the course
22% planned to teach 5–11 year olds
28% planned to teach 11–16 year olds
And 52.5% found out about CELTA through personal recommendation. 21% though ‘other’ means – probably websites.

As we all know, there are lies, damned lies and then there are statistics, so you can read into these figures whatever you wish. A couple of things stood out for me, though. Half of those taking the course intend to go on to teach kids. When I did my CELTA, more than ten years ago admittedly, there was precious little about the course that would have prepared me for teaching young learners. The same goes for the more than a third who would be heading for either EAP or business English. This really suggests to me that a) there need to be more starter courses catering for specific strands such as EAP, and b) the CELTYL isn’t widely available or people just don’t know about it.

Read what others have been saying on the forum here.

I also recommend Martin’s EAP podcasts, a fabulous resource.

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How to survive the world of TEFL #2: Always look busy

david — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:56:09 +0000

I’m a dosser. I’m lazy. I procrastinate. Just ask Alex Case, who has been waiting for me to answer his interview questions for at least 6 months now. If I can get away with not doing something, I will. The one thing I truly have any energy for in life is the pursuit of avoiding doing a task which has been assigned to me. The one thing that really saves me in this life is that practically everyone else is exactly like me, especially those members of society that we brand with the monicker ‘the teenager’. Working with 18-year-old students, as you can imagine, is an absolute godsend. If there is one group who are less inclined to work than I, it is them. There’s no feeling quite like assigning homework that you know you won’t have to grade because no of the burgers will bother to do it. Happy times indeed.

I’ve now reached that point when I’m twice as old as my students and I have to admit I’m getting better at doing stuff, another twenty years and I might actually be close to fulfilling everything I’m supposed to do in a normal working day. Until the, I’ll continue falling back on my finely honed slacking skills, the most important of which I’m about to share with you. If you’re going to get away with doing bugger all, there’s one thing that you must do at all times.

Scott’s law of business

Scott’s law of business will save many a great procrastinator from ever having to do the amount of work there job dictates they should.

‘Never walk down a hallway in an office building without a piece of paper in your hand.’

How does this apply to me, a language teacher? I hear you, I hear you, and don’t think I haven’t anticipated your question, because, quite simply, this principle applies to TEFL as much as it does any job anywhere in the world. I think back to the days when I worked in a supermarket. There was no better way to avoid having to stack that shelf than to walk around with a clipboard. The number of times I walked around bloody Tesco with a clipboard – completely devoid of paper, mind – is nobody’s business but mine and yours. If I think back even further to my time working in a hotel, I recall a towel would always do the trick, or at very least a cloth to clean something with. The point here is that he who has something in his hand will be perceived as having something important to do. The naked clipboard example illustrates that you don’t even have to be that convincing in your would be business, just look like you’re on your way somewhere in a hurry.

Applying the law to TEFL

Have a pack of cigarettes handy

I know this sounds strange, especially if you don’t smoke, but people still appreciate the absolute necessity of smokers to smoke. Therefore, if you have a cigarette in hand it looks like you need to have a break to smoke it. I know you’re dubious but I’ve done this and it works. If you really don’t like the idea, use a pen and stick it in your mouth whenever the boss catches you and tell them you’re weaning yourself off the filthy cancer sticks and that need to place yourself in the social situations you used to smoke in to really break the habit.

Have a handout / worksheet with you at all times

The worksheet is the clipboard of the TEFL world. If the DoS walks past you, you could even throw in a ‘is the photocopier working now?’ This will act as a double whammy, as the boss will not only assume that you are desperately working to get ready for your class but will also be busy fretting about whether or not the machine is on the blink.

Learn your colleagues’ schedules

Not only is learning timetables much more fun than lesson planning, you can also waste loads of time pretending to look for someone who you know isn’t there. When they show up later asking what you wanted, have a time sensitive excuse as to why you no longer need to talk to them.

Have a pen that doesn’t work

You have a pen in your hand, that’s a surefire sign that you’re doing something constructive. OK, it doesn’t work, but this doesn’t negate the fact that you appear to be working. The great thing about this is that most people who pass you by won’t have a pen either, so you can keep the ruse going for a fair length of time.

These are but a few of my favourite work avoidance strategies. I’d dearly love to hear how you shirk responsibility.

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Teh impotence of proofreading

david — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:02:52 +0000

Thank you to the ever wonderful EFL Geek, from whom I’m blatantly stealing this…

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How to survive the world of TEFL #1: Never volunteer for anything

david — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 10:13:47 +0000

One of the great fallacies of the twentieth century was that it was somehow wrong to be a pessimist. The idea that one is in the wrong if you view the proverbial glass as being half empty rather than half full brands me among the unfortunate majority of the populace who, rumour has it, take no joy out of life. They, whoever they are, are quite wrong in this assumption. A healthy dose of realism is one of the greatest companions one can have on life’s journey. There’s nothing wrong with the glass being half empty if you’ve enjoyed drinking the first half and will get equal pleasure from consuming what’s left. Conversely, the worst people a society can spew forth are often those for whom the glass is half full, the rich being a prime example. Such folk will invariably go to great lengths to ensure that their glass remains half full, whatever the cost to others. These are the buggers you have to be wary of.

In the world of TEFL, realism – pessimism if you absolutely must – will help you survive on a day to day basis. With this in mind, I’ll be guiding those of you with less pessimism (years of experience) than myself on how to get by in our most noble of professions. As you go through your teaching career, you’ll inexorably come into contact with any number of course books and, even worse, the accompanying teacher’s manual. From time to time you may be suffering one of those days where you suddenly have renewed faith in life and you decide to open the teacher’s manual. After quickly closing it again, you’ll find yourself cursing the layout and wishing they could have presented the bloody information in a way understandable to people other than Neo when he was in the Matrix. I’m going way off on a tangent here, but the point I’m trying to make is that people like their info to be easily digestible. With this in mind, whenever I cobble together one of my how to guides, I’ll be bullet-pointing, underlining and bolding like a student desperately trying to mask their plagiarism.

Here we go then with the first counsel on how to endure the world of TEFL.

Lackland’s laws

Lackland’s laws state as follows:

Never be first
Never be last
Never volunteer for anything

If you can stick to these three principles as much as possible, you’re off to one hell of a good start. I can sense that many of you are looking at this and thinking that these are pure pessimism. I can azure you half-fullers that you are quite wrong and here is why.

Never be first

Being first will generate an incredible amount of bad will towards you. Being first could manifest itself in any one of many situations:

the first to sign up for an observation with the DoS
meeting with the boss
trial new course books or materials
write an article for the school newsletter

Doing any of these things is OK and may well help you stay in your job, however doing any of these things first will arouse suspicion in your colleagues, none of whom are as nice as you. Be the second, by all means, but do not be the first one to do anything.

Never be last

Being last will also generate an incredible amount of bad will towards you and not from your colleagues but from those in the position to terminate your employment. This is never good. Here are some things you particularly don’t want to be last in:

the last to make an arrangement of an observation with the DoS
the last to arrive at the staff meeting (one time it’s Ok to be first because on one will realize)
the last to use the photocopier before it breaks down

Again, be the second to last, by all means, but do not be the last one to do anything. You might as well walk around with a sandwich board with the words ‘first against the wall when the revolution comes’ written on it.

Never volunteer for anything

People who volunteer for stuff are invariably up to something. Volunteering is different from being the first in that it is nominally optional. I say nominally because not all things that require volunteers are voluntary. Learning the distinction between what is truly voluntary and what requires compulsory volunteerism is an important skill that, while I offer no advice on how, I do suggest you acquire.

If you really must volunteer, make sure you…

Volunteer for something that no one realizes needed doing, especially not your boss.

People won’t resent you too much because what you’ve done will be so far over their heads they won’t even comprehend it.Find something that doesn’t exist, like a handbook for a self access learning centre, go on the internet and find a downloadable example, edit the details to fit your schools needs, present it to your boss. This is extremely effective volunteering as it is sneaky, it doesn’t require much work and will keep you out of trouble for quite a while.

Do it incredibly reluctantly and make sure your colleagues know that they owe you.

Complain all the while, make out it is much harder than it really is. Avoid meetings because you’re too busy on the voluntary project. In other words, milk it.

Don’t appear to enjoy it even if you are enjoying it.

If you look like you’re enjoying it, it will become part of your job. This is rarely a good thing. Don’t forget to blow it out of proportion on your CV, though.

Use having volunteered this time as an excuse for not volunteering for the much worse task that is bound to come in the future.

‘Look guys, I volunteered to do that really cushy task that took me the whole of five minutes, so you can understand why I don’t want to be involved in this huge project that will eat into my private life for months on end’ is exactly how you shouldn’t work this quality piece of shirking.

Make sure it is a replication of work you’ve already done.

A couple of months ago you cobbled together that end of level test and didn’t share it with anyone, now volunteer to write the end of level test and share it with everyone.

These are quality guidelines that will help you on the road to healthy pessimism. Now, go and finish that half glass while it’s still cold.

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A quite frankly excessive promo flyer for a conference

david — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 07:05:39 +0000

Not only can you win prizes, you can even attend presentations. BTW, I actually know one of the people in the pictures.

A bit OTT if you ask me

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The TEFL ‘Catch 22′ and how we can escape it (part one)

david — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 08:43:04 +0000

A couple of recent Alex Case articles have addressed the issue of pay in TEFL and its implications. I greatly enjoy Alex’s blog, as those of you who come here regularly will know, but I feel I needed to respond to his quick brainstorm over this issue. This may make for depressing reading but there is substantial light at the end of the tunnel, so bear with me and read until the end.

Alex’s suggestions are italicized:

- Form a union and go on strike, first making sure that the school can’t just sack you all and replace you with another boatload of even cheaper teachers.

For my degree I majored in tourism management and consequently spent a lot of time looking at the hospitality and tourism industry, which shares a number of key characteristics with TEFL teaching, namely there are literally a plethora of small and not so small organizations operating in the sector in practically every country of the world; the pay is generally low; staff turnover is high compared to other industries; there is little if any trade union representation; there are many transient workers trying to pick up casual work literally wherever they can find it. If that paints an unkind picture of our profession, I think you’ll agree it’s not far from the truth. The problems of having low pay and no union representation coupled with a burgeoning workforce willing to take whatever work they can find leads to a catch 22: Why improve conditions if you don’t have to? If one teacher isn’t happy, get rid of them and hire another. What we have at the language school level of the industry (I like to separate the words industry and profession and will further make the distinction as I continue) is a proliferation of poor standards brought on as much by the teachers willing to take poorly paid jobs as those running schools who offer such rates of pay.

So, how to form a union and begin the end of this? Would this union operate in one country? Would it cross international barriers and somehow overcome the myriad differences in local employment laws across the world? Which government departments would be involved in fighting for the rights of a largely foreign group of workers, many of whom have been employed illegally with unenforceable contracts? How would you get the large, transient element, who are merely looking for a little pocket money while traveling from country to country with no intention of staying in TEFL in the long run, to adhere to the policies that would help solve the problem? As with the hospitality industry, there are many barriers to overcome before a union can even be envisaged.

- Embarrass or in other ways ruin the business of schools that pay badly.

In the same way that Tony Soprano and his mafia buddies wouldn’t have taken kindly to a group of strippers trying to mess with his strip club, the undesirables that own language schools will not take kindly to such behaviour. There is an incredible amount of money to be made from teaching English and where there’s an incredible amount of money to be made you’ll have characters who like making an incredible amount of money. If you intend to take this course of action, try to find out exactly who you’re dealing with and who they’re connected to. This can be an effective short-term strategy, but do not end up as part of a motorway overpass as a result of your actions, nor assume that the authorities will back you up. Where there’s an incredible amount of money to be made, there are also people being paid to look the other way by a bunch of evil bastards.

- Cut down on the supply of TEFL teachers going to private language schools, e.g. by using TEFL forums and articles in newspapers back home to persuade as many people as possible (especially underqualified ones who will really undercut us) to think again, by refusing to be a teacher trainer for new teachers, by setting up an organisation to help TEFL teachers find other jobs, or by all becoming freelance.

I heartily agree with this one. Word of mouth is the one weapon we have at our disposal that could truly make a difference. My loathing of the Dave’s ESL café job discussion forums is well documented and stems from the fact that the bugger had the golden opportunity to use his heavily trafficked forums for the greater good of the TEFL profession. He didn’t: he censored the forums beyond belief to the point that no one can share any useful information or offer advice. I’m not alone in trying to redress the balance. As far as freelancing goes, I’ve recently written on the subject and will address it again zoon as it is the preeminent way to make big money in this profession.

- Persuade TEFL course providers to think more carefully about pay when recommending jobs to their “graduates”.

This is a point that could be immediately resolved. I was flat out told that I would be living the life of a pauper when I did my CELTA. This is basically one small but complicit link in the chain. Is it wrong to hope that course providers could offer more support in this way?

- Set up schools based on the principle of well paid teachers being worth the investment (as a partnership, cooperative etc if you prefer) in the hope that it works and puts the badly paid schools out of business or makes them try to steal your business model.

What if it doesn’t work? Whose income, future and livelihood are we ruining here? If we’re talking about teachers setting up schools, it can work and I’ve seen some very successful examples. I’ve also seen people hounded out of business and been the recipients of death threats from the mafia who don’t want a better school cutting into the profits of their cowboy operation.

- Persuade our students and prospective students that well paid teachers (usually meaning more expensive lessons) are worth it and teach them how to find the right ones, e.g. by writing newspaper articles on the topic (probably in their L1).

A lot of students would really go for this and the lessons wouldn’t have to necessarily be more expensive. It would mean language school owners, I include the big guns like Berlitz and IT here, seeing the value of guaranteeing repeat custom from satisfaction gained from having a good, motivated teacher. What I’ve seen happen too often is the introduction of a pay scale based on experience and qualifications, followed by the non-renewal of contract / firing under flimsy pretences of the most experienced teachers. Believe me, I’ve worked in places where no one in the history of the organization has come anywhere near reaching the top of the pay scale. Bloody sneaky if you ask me.

- Persuade governments or accrediting agencies to set national minimum wages for teachers in private language schools.

This sounds great in theory, but if they aren’t even able to make sure that the people working in these schools have the proper work visas, resident permits, etc., how are they going to guarantee minimum wage?

I’m not finished yet and will be adding my two-penneth worth to the rest of Alex’s suggestions in the coming days, and explaining why there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Stay tuned.

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The ‘ELTons’ Award making its debut in the Middle East

david — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 07:10:55 +0000

Middle East & United Kingdom: Aspiring creative writers in the Middle East are being given the opportunity to make their first break into the English language publishing industry (the poor Buggers don’t know what they’re getting in to) through a new award: the British Council’s ‘prestigious’ ELTons Awards.

The ELTons, inconceivably now in their eighth year, are a celebration of excellence in English Language Teaching, apparently recognising significant and innovative advances in the theory of ELT learning, teaching and research. This new ELTons award category joins the long-established group of British Council Innovation Awards. You can tell how excited I am, can’t you?

Saudi Arabia: Arab News sponsors 4 girls for English course

david — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 10:07:14 +0000

This wouldn’t exactly be newsworthy in most cases but given that it’s taking place in the Hell on Earth known commonly as Saudi Arabia I guess it’s worth mentioning. The Arab News is to sponsor* four of 15 women students taking a Ramadan-long English course organised by the ever lovely British Council in Jeddah. The 15 students were given the opportunity to undertake the language course as a ‘charitable gesture’ by the council at the beginning of Ramadan. The four successful candidates will now be offered the chance to take a month-long continuation course to develop further and reinforce their newly acquired learning.

Russia: Kicked out of school?

david — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:03:56 +0000

Moscow’s City Duma has suggested an amendment to a new law that would require all teachers to apply for work permits… in addition to the work visas which currently allow them to teach here. Also, according to the amendment’s author, Tatyana Potyayeva, the deputy head of the City Duma’s Science and Education committee, the move is necessary after some foreign teachers were responsible for “inciting ethnic and religious strife” in educational centres.

In practical terms, notes NM Weekly, the proposal means that schools and colleges have to spend up to three months processing the paperwork for new recruits, compared with about one month at present. English language schools, which have enjoyed years of growth, often recruit staff with either the Cambridge Certificate in English Language Teaching to Adults (CELTA) or the Teachers of English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) certificate, which might now become insufficient for would-be teachers in Russia.

Read the full story…

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United Kingdom: English teaching ‘outstanding’ at Challney Boys

david — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 12:46:46 +0000

A school where more than 40 different languages are spoken by pupils has just been commended by the ever reliable Ofsted for its ‘outstanding’ English teaching. At Challney Boys School nearly all of the pupils are from ethnic minorities and 86 percent don’t have English as their first language.

Read on…

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